8.15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8.30 Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday.
8.45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants -
open presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner.
9.15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil.
10.00 Light work out at club with sexy funny personal trainer.
10.30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry.
12.00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe.
12.45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notices she has gained 20lbs.
1.00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit.
3.00 Nap.
4.00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer.
4.15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle
hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body.
5.30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full
length mirror.
7.30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments
received from other diners/dancers.
10.00 Hot shower (alone).
10:50 Carried to bed . . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen).
11.00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11.15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms.
---------------------------------------------------------
THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM
6.00 Alarm.
6.15 Blow job.
6.30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section.
7.00 Breakfast: rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by
naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her cooter
7.30 Limo arrives.
7.45 Several Beers en-route to airport.
9.15 Flight in personal Lear Jet.
9.30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route).
9.45 Play front nine - 2 under.
11.45 Lunch - Pie, burger & fries, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon.
12.15 Blow job.
12.30 Play back nine - 4 under.
2.15 Limo back to the airport (Several Bourbons).
2.30 Fly to Cairns.
3.30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who
also bend over a lot displaying cooters.
4.30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle.
5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over..
naturally).
6.45 Shit, Shower and Shave.
7.00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated; cannabis legalised.
7.30 Dinner: lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet
steak followed by Ice-cream served on a big pair of tits.
9.00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you
watch match of the day; US beating China by 30 points
9.30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies... some bending
over).
11.00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer.
11.30 A night cap blow job.
11.45 In bed alone.
11.50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to
leave the room
11.51 Laugh yourself to sleep
Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that
motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I
loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what
time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new
best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken
and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned
your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in
my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your
actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my
heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you
would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them,
because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic
that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest
mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we
had to have cereal, or Cream of Wheat, or eggs and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had sandwiches!
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we
were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and
what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be
gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
If we left one friend's house to go to another place, we had to call and let
Mom know.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child
Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the
beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and
all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking
of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read
our minds, and had eyes in the back of her head. ("Meese Eyes"?)
Back Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up.
They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone
else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were
16; for a "real" date.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids
experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing
other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are
doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today. There are not enough
"MEAN MOMS"............